MY FEARS #ECOEPHOBIA

I am scared, frightened, afraid, terrified. Call it whatever name you feel you want to call it.

I just know I am scared,

I am scared, when I look at the mirror and I cant link the kind of future I want to the image I see

I am scared, I might live a life not up to what I dream it to be.

I am scared of this shit, sheet of paper in hands filled with red 'F's, probably getting me a blue collar job, all primary colours cant even pay my child through primary school.

I am scared, I might take the wrong woman home, she would be a pest to my soul, skin me for all I own, and leave me almost dead in my zone.

I am scared I wont make my family proud, not giving them what they expect of me, care, support, job, like Job in the bible, they end up wishing I was never born.

I am scared of the whole world as a whole, I make no friend, as all I see are wide red eyes, patiently waiting to feast on my downfall.

I am scared of trailing a wrong path, what if the counsellors and advisers had giving me a wrong map?

I am scared, even at my old age, that is if I get old, I may have been forgotten, even before am gone.

I am scared of my instincts, looks like the devil is just whispering and I feel its my guts telling me what to do.

I was scared of writing this piece, as it could one of those rubbish I had written, and the world would hate me for my lack of use of words, or the words would make the world get 'ecoe phobia' the fear of ecoe fears.

I was scared of even my fears, because they form a big dark monster whenever I think of them.

So I stopped thinking of them, except now I am telling you.

I see them as not true, I don't think of them.

I leave my life a second at a time.

Sleep at night, and wait for sunrise.

If I fall, I pray to God I rise.

If it gets tough, I pray to God arise.

The only thing that keeps me off my fear is God.

Call it faith, grace, belief, or hope. Whatever you want to call it,

its what keeps me going.

                                                  Written by ECOE