TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE

One of the most difficult thing to accept is responsibility for your actions, especially when the consequences are not so good. In the same vain, when our actions backfire, we find it easier to blame others. Many times we shift the blame on the government, our bosses, friends and loved ones.

But trading blame and apportioning fault seldom takes us closer to our goals. By default, you are not responsible for a number of things in your life, like the country you were born into, the choice of parents and sometimes the choice of school.

However, these things may or may not influence your future, depending on how you take charge of your life. Every outcome is made up of two major parts; the event and your response. It is true that you may not always have control over the events happening around you, but you have 100% control over the way you respond to the event. The kind of response you give determines the kind of outcome you get. Take for instance, your fiancée turned up very late for an event you wanted to go together (event), because you are infuriated, you tongue lashed her (response) that she felt insulted. This negatively affected your relationship (outcome). Let's see how a different response would change the outcome. Your fiancée arrived late for an event she shouldn't be late for (event), then you said to her, what delayed you.(response) "I'm so sorry for coming late, I had a flat tire" She responded. (Outcome). You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.

There is a story about a drunkard who had two sons. Whenever the man returns home drunk he would beat up his wife and kids. This made the wife filed for divorce. All efforts by friends and family to restore the relationship proved abortive. After many years, one of his sons became a pilot. He has a stable relationship, he loved and cared for his family. On the other hand was his brother who has grown to become a replica of what their father was. When these two sons were asked what was the reason for their lifestyles. The former answered saying every time he saw his father drunk, broke or abused his mum, he renewed his determination to be the exact opposite of what his father was. While the latter said each time he looked at his father, he was intrigued by his father's atrocious acts, and then he made his mind to be exactly like his father. The only way to change your life is to take charge of your life. A powerful man creates the world he desires. Observe great people around you, you will find out that the seldom trade blame.

Conclusively, Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived holocaust and a concentration camp, said "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." We must realize that the power to create the kind of life we want resides in us. Refuse to conform to the standards of your environment nor dictate of your circumstance. Drop the victim mentality, embrace the victor ideology. Be responsible for your life. Take charge! 

                                                   Written by FOLARANMI RICHARD