A Good Wife.

Every man wishes for a good wife. Many people advise the new bride to be a good wife to her husband, I reviewed the Bible to find answer to what it means to be a good wife.

What are the makings of a good or perfect wife? I found out that many of the qualities of a good wife are

already inbuilt in every woman, the rest can be developed through conscious effort. In the Bible the qualities of a virtuous or good woman is summed up in Proverbs 31:10-31.

  Here are my summary of a good wife.

1) Trust by her Husband: A good wife would be trustworthy and committed to her husband. Most marital problem starts when there is lack of trust, which could lead to lack of confidence and break down in communication. A woman is therefore responsible to ensure that the vows taken at the time of marriage are kept in all conditions. Your Husband should be able to confide in you at all times. The marriage bed should be kept undefiled.

2) Protect her husband: as a good wife, you should always protect your husband in all areas which may include but not limited to: physically [avoid body harm and abuse] emotionally, financially [mind his spending and investment] and spiritually [pray for him and always be his spiritual watch dog].

A husband expects his wife’s support and understanding especially in times of troubles. A good wife loves her hubby through his successes and failures and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support your husband in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often heard saying that ‘a wife can make a man or break a man’.

There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him especially in front of others. Be proud of his accomplishments and genuinely complement him. If you do this you can expect your husband to behave with you in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. When you don’t agree with him, respectfully let him know you don’t agree politely.

3) Harding working and productive: as a good wife, you have to be hard working and be able to look ahead, make plans and follow them. Show good example to your children. Make plans and see them through. Make good use of your time and learn to prioritize. Invest time in your children and do not ignore your husband need. You know your husband first and he should come first before the children. Spend less time talking on the phone, playing games or what have you at the expense of your family needs.

4) Provide food and clothing for your household – A good wife clothe her Husband and children well, she will have to make sure she buy them clothes; choose good and appropriate clothes, bearing in mind color combination and maintenance – dress the children to portray who you want them to grow into, clean and iron their clothes when require. Help your Husband to choose honorable clothes.

5) Prepare, dress and look good: A good wife honors her husband by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Dress appropriately and modestly, take special care about your look and make constant effort to be attractive to him and keep fit. Hey! Every man likes their wife's to smell good too.

6) Respect your husband and make him earn respect through your acts - If you expect respect from others we need to treat others with respect too. Haven’t we all heard ‘Give respect and take respect’? Respect can be reflected in the way one talk and behave. A good wife respects her hubby and she never chooses to belittle strike, humiliate or otherwise harm him in private nor in public. It is better to watch what you say and to think your thoughts through before speaking as it is not possible to take back the words once they have been spoken. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home. Tame your behaviour and do not act in a way that will bring shame or dishonor to your husband and children. Fill your home with spiritual words and wisdom.

As a wife you need to understand your husband has a life other than you; he also has his family friends and colleagues who are part of his life too. He may also have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be too irritating.

7) A good wife controls her tongue and speaks with wisdom - Communication is the key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things from your husband or keep secrets after marriage. Be honest to him. Find time to sit and talk with your husband on a daily basis even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband anything then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when your husband is talking. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good Communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. After marriage the wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not take any major decisions about the family without consulting with your husband. Fights or problems may happen in between the two of you but do not let the world know about it rather solve it between yourselves. The argument you had last week over shopping or whatever, is over and done with. Move on and stop rehashing old stuff and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together. Avoid gossips and vain chatting or staying on the phone for too long – out of multitude of words their abound sins. Praise your husband and children at times and correct them with respect. Have control over what you say in public and never talk down anyone.

8) Knows her family and what is going on their life – A good wife should be the first to know in the family and always be willing to listen and provide answer to everyone’s needs and if need be seek for answer and support on behalf of your family member – care must be taken though not to intrude their privacy, and let everyone know their boundary. Establish discipline and routine and follow them too. Mind their company and who they associate with. Keep the house clean and maintain good hygiene. Take all responsibilities seriously without complaining. A good woman builds her home – though your husband is the head of the family – you are the general overseer which makes you to be more accountable.

9) As a good woman, you will be praised by your husband and children; why? You are always there for them; you express your appreciation and show them love. You join them in activities that they are interested in, give them thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget their special days. Pamper him very often and be a servant in the house. Cook food for them and make them dependent on you and let them miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed and it will inspire them to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection. Surprise them once in a while. Doing these things will always put your praise in their mouths and you will surely reap the fruit of your labor.

By Kemi Tomide-Johnson